Shamelessmack in Thailand and around

For many years, every room of Le Cafe Royale had an information folder providing essential tips for first time visitors to Pattaya. One of its most useful pages was the guide to the gay beach in Jomtien. Those folders have now been packed away into history.

I think they will be missed. I think Pattaya could do with more first-time visitors before it becomes a geriatric ward; to this end, we should try to make it easier for people to find their way and enjoy themselves there.

Let me do my part, picking up where Le Cafe Royale left off, with some easy directions to Jomtien’s “gay beach”.

Actually, it’s a 200-metre section of a long continuous beach  – the proper name is not Jomtien beach but Dongtan Beach – and to untrained eyes, it may not be obvious where gay begins and where it ends.

Since most likely, you’ll be staying in Pattaya and not Jomtien itself, I’ll need to begin by talking about transport. The “minibuses” to Jomtien – they’re actually pick-up trucks converted into passenger vehicles – all depart from the corner of Pattaya South Road (“Thanon Pattaya Tai”) and Pattaya’s Second Road (“Pattaya Saisong”).

The latter, at this stretch, is sometimes called Phratamnak Road. Actually, I’m not sure where exactly Second Road becomes Phratamnak Road, but follow the map and you won’t have any trouble.

You board a bus and wait. When the driver has decided that there are enough passengers on board, he stirs and starts up the vehicle.

Where do you get off? At the corner of Thappraya Road and Jomtien Beach Road. You know you’re there the moment you can see the sea. Get off the minibus and pay the driver 10 baht.

By the way, there’s a gay bar (open in the day) just there, called Bamboo Bar, and a 7-11 convenience store where you can purchase suntan lotion, etc, if you’ve forgotten to pack it with you.

After alighting, walk towards the sandy beach where you’ll see a police post. Turn right into the footpath and walk northwards (i.e. away from Jomtien Beach Road).

In the map below,  you will find yourself starting at the top of the map and going downwards. Unlike other maps in this blog which are oriented in the conventional way (top = North) , this one follows the flow of the text.

Following the footpath, you’ll be walking parallel to the coastline. There will be concessionaires and lots of beach chairs under umbrellas on your left (your seaward side).

After about 130 metres (ca. 100 paces) from the police post, you will see Sugar Palm Beach Hotel on your right (i.e. the side inland from you).

At about the 300-metre point (ca. 230 paces from the police post) you will see Tui’s Place. This is a well-known gay guest house and marks the start of the gay section of the beach.

You will also notice that from this point on, there are far more men than women on the beach chairs, from which you can draw your own conclusions. Another good indicator can be found by looking at the beach massage activities. Most of the masseurs are male, as are almost all the customers (at other sections of the beach, it’s gender-balanced.)

The gay beach continues for another 200 metres. At that point, which is about 500 metres from the police post (ca. 380 paces), you will come to two little hotels: The White House and Rabbit Resort. Beyond this point, the beach turns hetero again, though the crowds are thinner than at the first hetero section.

Somewhere between Tui’s place and Rabbit Resort, pick a beach chair and plonk yourself down. The concessionaire for that zone will come up to you and ask you if you’d like to order a drink. The chair will cost you 30 baht for the whole day (as at December 2008); food and drink that you order from the concessionaire will be added to the tab.

The food (e.g. fried rice or fried noodles) comes from the hotels and guest houses nearby, so they should be quite hygienically prepared, yet inexpensive. A plate of fried noodles was 70 baht in December.

The first thing you’ll notice though is that you don’t need to depend on the concessionaire for nourishment. There is a never-ending stream of vendors coming by trying to sell you everything – hotdogs, ice-cream, newspapers, sunglasses, beach towels, temporary tattoos, DVDs, barbequed shrimp, fake watches….

And then there are the massage guys. 200 baht should buy you a pretty good one hour on the sand. Sompit (pic below) gave me a firm, energetic work-out.

There are toilets and showers for public use, annexed to the hotels. Generally, it costs 5 baht per use.

You can swim in the sea, though the water is not crystal clear. In the monsoon season however, the surf can be rough and the currents treacherous. But year-round, the sand is soft and fine, the beach swept of litter every morning and evening by the concessionaires, and the breeze is always a joy.

Once a year, I pack a few books, haul myself there and catch up on my reading.

Now, if only the vendors would leave me in peace…..